- There’s a 75-year-old guy named John King who was at a hospital in New Smyrna Beach, Florida for respiratory failure over the weekend. And he felt like the nurses were ignoring him when he asked them to bring him his clothes. So, to get their attention . . . he lit his hospital bed on FIRE. And that DID get the nurses’ attention . . . mainly when the 84-year-old guy who John was sharing the hospital room with yelled to them, quote, “The [mother-effer] in here lit his bed on fire. I can’t breathe.” Fortunately, one of the nurses put out the fire with a fire extinguisher and no one was hurt . . . but the bed was completely destroyed. The staff caught John trying to escape on the elevator and held him until the cops got there. He was arrested for felony arson.
- Last Wednesday, the cops in Stacy, Minnesota got a call from a mobile home park about a 26-year-old woman named Jessie Knickerbocker who was banned from the property. Her parents live there, so the cops went to their home to look for her. They asked where Jessie was, and her dad said she was safe. And he meant it literally . . . because Jessie was hiding inside of a GUN SAFE. It was about five feet tall, 28 inches wide, and 20 inches deep. And Jessie was running out of air inside . . . and her dad couldn’t get it open. It took the cops about 10 minutes to finally pry it open, and they found Jessie inside, crouching and sweating. She was arrested for trespassing.
- A 23-year-old woman in Florida crashed her car this month while TOPLESS . . . after she tried to give her boyfriend sexual favors on his birthday while SHE was driving. The arrest report says she was driving WHILE providing him with manual and oral stimulation. They were arguing next to their wrecked car when police showed up. And she started slapping her boyfriend when he told her to calm down. She told cops she was topless when the crash happened because she, quote, “wanted to look sexy” for him on his birthday. They arrested the boyfriend for resisting arrest after he refused to cooperate and wouldn’t stop fighting with her. And she’s facing charges for battery and disorderly conduct.
- A 21-year-old Milwaukee man has been arrested and charged after police say he held a bag containing cocaine in his mouth for several hours in an attempt to prevent police from finding the drugs. It started when an officer pulled over the driver of a blue BMW after the officer saw the BMW roll through a stop at a red light. Police said the driver, Marcus Lathan, 21, tried running from police after they found $1,275 in cash on him, a black digital scale with white residue on it inside the car, and a bag containing a substance that police suspected may have contained illegal drugs. Police said officers on-scene tackled Lathan after a chase of about 40 feet. as Lathan was being driven to the local jail for booking, an officer saw Lathan put a plastic bag with a white powdery substance in his mouth. Police said they couldn’t get Lathan to open his mouth, and believed that if he swallowed the bag, that he’d overdose on the large amount of drugs that were possibly inside. According to police, officers tried the Heimlich maneuver to get Latham to spit out the bag, but he refused. Police said they transported him to a local hospital so medical personnel could X-ray him to determine what he apparently swallowed. Police say after several hours, the bag that Lathan once had in his mouth fell to the hospital room floor where he was being held. Police said they analyzed the contents of the bag and found a total of 33 grams of cocaine inside.
